Saturday, October 30, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Setting changes...
I have now made our blog open for comments from anyone and everyone. You do not have to have an account to leave us a message. They will be moderated by me, but please try it out let us know your thoughts!
b <----- that 'b' brought to you by Morgan's foot.
b <----- that 'b' brought to you by Morgan's foot.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Friday Night...
Last Friday night Steve and I were lucky enough to get his Mom to babysit for us so that we could take our good friend Aaron out to Belt Sushi for his first time. Aaron is an amazing artist and I love spending time with him. You can just feel the creativity rolling off of him. Belt Sushi was much fun and afterward we decided to grab our cameras and head out on a midnight urban photo adventure. Aaron shoots with film on a very old Pentax camera and a very very old Nikon camera. It's pretty incredible to watch him shoot. I am fully in the land of digital so it's a novelty to see someone work with a film camera and even crazier is to see that he doesn't get instant gratification like you do with digital. He has to wait and hope his exposures were right. Anyway it was a great night filled with lots of great insightful conversation and belly aching laughs. I loved just going out and being creative. Being able to just shoot for myself is something I need more of desperately. I can't wait to go on another photo adventure.
Here are a few shots from that night...
(remember you can view these larger by clicking on them)
Here are a few shots from that night...
(remember you can view these larger by clicking on them)
Aaron shooting.
This one above is my favorite. Steve forgot my tripod and so I had to be creative to make sure I got decent shots. Here I actually set my camera on the ground.
...interesting lines along the waterfront in Everett...
(again, a tripod would have made all the difference in this shot)
My favorite alley in Everett
On a totally different note, Steve is such a dork. He told Aaron and I this joke at sushi and had us dying laughing so I have to share it with you now. Y'know Uwagimaya, the Asian grocery store in Seattle and Redmond? Well, I always have a hard time remembering the name of it so Steve says, "it's Fred's Brother." I was confused for a moment because Steve's sister's name is Fred. Anyway, he says, "Uwagimaya is Fred's brother," and then suddenly it hit me. So, what I want you to do right now is say out loud "Uwagimaya" pronounced "Waj-ah-maya" it sounds like "Roger Meyer"(almost except the R sounds like a W). Fred Meyer's brother. Now hopefully you know how to say Uwagimaya and you should be laughing very hard hearing yourself say Uwagimaya from this point on.
...interesting lines along the waterfront in Everett...
(again, a tripod would have made all the difference in this shot)
My favorite alley in Everett
On a totally different note, Steve is such a dork. He told Aaron and I this joke at sushi and had us dying laughing so I have to share it with you now. Y'know Uwagimaya, the Asian grocery store in Seattle and Redmond? Well, I always have a hard time remembering the name of it so Steve says, "it's Fred's Brother." I was confused for a moment because Steve's sister's name is Fred. Anyway, he says, "Uwagimaya is Fred's brother," and then suddenly it hit me. So, what I want you to do right now is say out loud "Uwagimaya" pronounced "Waj-ah-maya" it sounds like "Roger Meyer"(almost except the R sounds like a W). Fred Meyer's brother. Now hopefully you know how to say Uwagimaya and you should be laughing very hard hearing yourself say Uwagimaya from this point on.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
The Dark Side of my Pain
{intro}
I live with chronic back pain. I think people hear that so much it's hard to really embrace what that entails at times. I experience varying degrees of pain every second of every day. Every second. Every day. While the pain is always there underneath the surface it has many layers. I always have a painful uncomfortable tightness within me. My muscles have contracted to try and protect me therefore creating a whole other layer of discomfort. On top of the tightness the pain changes from a dull throbbing to crippling twinges to sharp shooting pains that travel to my legs and to my knees. Along with all of that comes a myriad of side effects from emotional to psychological to the closest people around me even being effected negatively. The hardest part is the part where my pain, my problem has spread like a sickness to those I love. That hurts more than any of the physical pain I deal with on a daily basis.
I recently started feeling this need to journal. To lay down in words what I have been experiencing. In turn maybe it will help people understand me and help me understand what I am going through more clearly. I look back at where I started and see this grieving process I have been going through of the life I had to the one I am currently living. People use the word journey a lot to describe chronic pain and I hadn't thought of it like that before, but it IS a journey. It's something very real that I have been quietly going through almost in denial and it's time for me to reflect, grow, and move forward as someone_with_chronic pain. I may not ever experience life again as I once did, but I want to try and build an even more successful life than the one I was leading because suddenly I have the greatest motivator of all: The will to not be consumed by pain for the sake of me, my dreams, and my family.
The Storm
So, I have this mental image or lets say a visual in my head of my back pain. I see it and feel it as if it is a black hole or mass that has attached itself to my lower back. It moves and mutates like storm clouds in the sky always there in motion on the surface. Now lets add some lightning into the mix and that would be the perfect illustration of the sharp spreading pains and crippling twinges I feel within the ever-changing storm that has taken over. This storm is so powerful it inevitably takes a toll on me. Me. Me as in the person inside this broken body experiencing this alone and is scared. Scared that at any moment this pain will finally win and I will not be able to move. I have been living in a very scary lonely place for a long time. A place that just like a storm I have no control over. A place where the weather forecast is grim and even on the sunniest days there are still rolling black clouds lingering in the not so far off distance
The Dark Side of my Pain
That is what I am going to call my new journal project. This thing that has happened to me is so strange because it's not something I can see or show people. It's faceless and pretty much nameless because the word pain just doesn't seem adequate. I guess that is why it has taken form as this black hole. It could consume me and take over my life, but I am trying to not let it. That's what I want to write about. The battle against the black hole. Oh yes, now we are talking. All I need are some B actors, some light savers, some bad lighting and Steve on the Casio keyboard. I will of course provide the cheesy overwritten narration.
I live with chronic back pain. I think people hear that so much it's hard to really embrace what that entails at times. I experience varying degrees of pain every second of every day. Every second. Every day. While the pain is always there underneath the surface it has many layers. I always have a painful uncomfortable tightness within me. My muscles have contracted to try and protect me therefore creating a whole other layer of discomfort. On top of the tightness the pain changes from a dull throbbing to crippling twinges to sharp shooting pains that travel to my legs and to my knees. Along with all of that comes a myriad of side effects from emotional to psychological to the closest people around me even being effected negatively. The hardest part is the part where my pain, my problem has spread like a sickness to those I love. That hurts more than any of the physical pain I deal with on a daily basis.
I recently started feeling this need to journal. To lay down in words what I have been experiencing. In turn maybe it will help people understand me and help me understand what I am going through more clearly. I look back at where I started and see this grieving process I have been going through of the life I had to the one I am currently living. People use the word journey a lot to describe chronic pain and I hadn't thought of it like that before, but it IS a journey. It's something very real that I have been quietly going through almost in denial and it's time for me to reflect, grow, and move forward as someone_with_chronic pain. I may not ever experience life again as I once did, but I want to try and build an even more successful life than the one I was leading because suddenly I have the greatest motivator of all: The will to not be consumed by pain for the sake of me, my dreams, and my family.
The Storm
So, I have this mental image or lets say a visual in my head of my back pain. I see it and feel it as if it is a black hole or mass that has attached itself to my lower back. It moves and mutates like storm clouds in the sky always there in motion on the surface. Now lets add some lightning into the mix and that would be the perfect illustration of the sharp spreading pains and crippling twinges I feel within the ever-changing storm that has taken over. This storm is so powerful it inevitably takes a toll on me. Me. Me as in the person inside this broken body experiencing this alone and is scared. Scared that at any moment this pain will finally win and I will not be able to move. I have been living in a very scary lonely place for a long time. A place that just like a storm I have no control over. A place where the weather forecast is grim and even on the sunniest days there are still rolling black clouds lingering in the not so far off distance
The Dark Side of my Pain
That is what I am going to call my new journal project. This thing that has happened to me is so strange because it's not something I can see or show people. It's faceless and pretty much nameless because the word pain just doesn't seem adequate. I guess that is why it has taken form as this black hole. It could consume me and take over my life, but I am trying to not let it. That's what I want to write about. The battle against the black hole. Oh yes, now we are talking. All I need are some B actors, some light savers, some bad lighting and Steve on the Casio keyboard. I will of course provide the cheesy overwritten narration.
Flourish
10/20
Peripheral visceral concrete noise
A labyrinth, a home, a place to feel alone
faded and wasted
a note too long to bear
beautiful and lucid
a fear we all must share
weeping winding crowded seas
languishing in anonymity
Photo: Melissa
Poem: Melissa
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Remlinger Farms
This past weekend we went to Remlinger Farms with our good friends Erin, Shawn, and Cole. I thought we were going to a fancier type of pumpkin patch with a couple added features like a train ride and pony ride, but boy were we in for a surprise! Wow. Remlinger Farms is like going to a county fair, but geared for small kids. It was incredible. We spent all day there and were wiped out at the end.
Here is a group shot minus me and Lily. I will post more as soon as I get them ready. I love that Morgan is the pig. His chubby cheeks poking out are so cute.
Here is a group shot minus me and Lily. I will post more as soon as I get them ready. I love that Morgan is the pig. His chubby cheeks poking out are so cute.
(remember you can click on any image to view it larger)
Friday, October 15, 2010
Binding
10/10
Always at the cusp of a cycle, from moment to moment forever
Blazing like a phoenix, the end of one leading to the beginning of another
We are not the same ashes that burned so brightly in the crisp autumn light
Change simultaneously profound and meaningless
A grand scheme so incomprehensibly vast
The touch of a leaf or the cataclysm of a collapsing star
Mean the same as the heartbeat that pulses so softly.
Like the beat of a butterfly wing through your hand to mine.
Each beat comes and goes, never to return
Instant and eternal, we are bound in the infinite machinery of creation.
Photo: Melissa
Poem: Steve
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Our very first Family Sushi Night out...
Steve and I braved going to our favorite Belt Sushi place with the kids tonight for dinner. I was so stressed about taking them we changed our minds at least 3 times on our way there. Once we got there we decided to go for it. They were so well behaved it was amazing. I worried for nothing. Steve and I can handle much more than I give us credit for I think.
The funniest part of dinner was Morgan would only eat stuff off the chopsticks or umbrella stick. He made us put the food between the chopsticks and then he munched it. Both kids ate a ton of food and it was very successful. Lily was cramming food in her mouth as fast as we could give it to her. I am so glad this place is family friendly. We love it there.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
A beautiful day filled with love...
The Kiss
I think it's my favorite part of a wedding. It's a single moment filled with pure love and happiness. Or in Fred and Matt's case it was several moments filled with lots and lots of love and happiness. =)
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Landscaping
9/27
We set you on the path, a glittering walkway of carefully aranged shattered glass.
Quick little footsteps over inlays of brass.
We guided your steps, but it wasn't long before your feet took their own directions.
Skimming the surface of endless imperfection.
We called out your name, and you gazed at us quietly with no intention to return.
Ignoring our earnest expressions of concern.
And we know that you'll chose your own way.
And while we offer guidance you get final say.
And while sometimes it's difficult that is ok
We will love you tomorrow just like we do today.
Photo: Melissa
Poem: Steve
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